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August 2008

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Help Kids!

The Glamor of Coaching

Coachjondragginggearb4game2 That picture to the left is me trudging out to my daughter's team's second game last Saturday.  I can't complain too much since my buddy Mac, the head coach, usually ends up doing the lugging since most of it comes from his car.  Still, can you believe we pay for this pleasure?

BTW, our girls went 1-2 in the Twin City Classic tournament.  About half of our team is new and we only had four official practices before the tournament so we have a lot of learning to do.  Next chance will be this coming weekend in the Furniture City Classic in High Point.

The End of Summer, If I Make It

Now that we're at the end of summer with only three working days until it comes to a crashing end, I can tell you one thing we as a family won't be doing: we won't be going on a last hurrah bike ride in Virginia.  Why not?  Well, we tried it last year and although it was memorable I can't say I'd be able to get the family to do it again.

Another reason is that this summer kinda-sorta ended last week.  Our oldest is playing football at West Forsyth this year and practice started with a bang in early August, so he's out of any kind of grand, end of year excursion.  Also, our daughter's soccer team, for which I'm an assistant coach, started official practices last week and we just had our first tournament this past weekend and will be playing in another this coming weekend.  So this year we'll just be trying to survive this schedule for our last week of summer:

  • Tuesday
    • Back to school shopping
    • Doctor's appointment at noon
    • Football practice 4-6:30
    • Middle school open house: 6:00-8:00
    • Soccer game at WFU
  • Wednesday
    • Football Practice 8-10:30
    • Soccer practice (goalies) 6:15-7:15
    • Open house for West Forsyth 6:30-8:30
    • Soccer practice for entire team 7:00-8:15
  • Thursday
    • Soccer practice 7:00-8:45
    • No football practice in prep for season opener on Friday
  • Friday
    • West Forsyth football season opener 7:30-whenever
  • Saturday
    • Soccer tournament in High Point, Game 1 - 11:20-1:20
    • Soccer tournament in High Point, Game 2 - 6:00 - 8:00
  • Sunday
    • Soccer tournament in High Point, Game 3 - 9:40-11:40
    • Church confirmation class 12:00
  • Monday
    • School starts.  6:00 am wake up to get ready for middle school bus.

Yes, I realize that much of this is self inflicted.  No one says our kids have to play sports or that I have to coach, but since this wild ride we call life only goes around once (unless you're Shirley Maclaine) then I figure we might as well do it right.

I've been told that the high school years will flash by and the next thing I'll know I'll be eating pureed food through a straw remembering those fine times when I had teeth and my kids actually needed me for something.  Well, with weeks like this one the pureed food may come sooner than anyone expects seeing as my eyes have grown bags large enough to pack for a two week European trip and I can't seem to stop drooling.

Ah well.

My Brain Virus

Phone rings:

Me: Hello?
Mom: Do you have some kind of brain virus?
Me: Uh, wadda you mean?
Mom: A puppy?
Me: Oh, yeah.  Well, uh, you know, Celeste and the kids have been wanting a puppy for a while and this just seemed like the right time and situation, you know?
Mom: I guess.  Bert read your post about the puppy and said some people just insist on erecting a cross and nailing themselves to it.
Me: Well, she seems to be a good puppy so far so I'm not feeling crucified yet.  Give me a few days, though, and that may change.  And you know we thought that now would be a good time because Arthur (note: our six year old black lab) will be able to kind of lead by example and so far it seems to be working. We're hoping that'll keep the level of trouble down.
Mom, laughing: I'm trying to picture Grandpa Arthur with the little whipper snapper.  Does he like her?
Me: Well he's accepted her, but "like" would be a little strong.  She tries to play with him and if she gets a little too frisky he gives her a growl and she instantly flops on her back and submits.  So I guess you could say they get along.
Mom: Well that's good.  Now, I have a question about my wireless service...

Really, so far puppy Mia has been a pleasure to have around.  Here she is with Grandpa Arthur:
P6060246

Morning People

One of the unfortunate things about summer coming to an end is the fact that we'll be back to using alarm clocks in this house in a couple of weeks.  Esbee's written about weening her boys off of the summer sleep-in schedule and slowly working them into their normal school wake up routine.  We'll probably try to do that soon as well, but with our two oldest going to high school this year and with high school being the latest start in this county (middle school is earliest, followed by elementary school) we'll only have one that has to get up pre-dawn this year.  Normally I'd say that's a good thing except he's also the only one we can absolutely depend on to sleep through his alarm and to not make the bus, and since his uber-responsible sister won't be up to roust him that means Mom or Dad will have to do it.  That's truly unfortunate since no one in this family is truly a morning person. Now, we're not the grumpy types. We don't wake up surly and stay that way for an hour, rather we are just slow to wake up and we kind of ease our way into the day.  In other words we don't pop out of bed ready to conquer the day.

I was thinking about this and also thinking about our vacation last week and it occurred to me that we were very fortunate that our travel companions (my brother and his family, my Mom and Bert) weren't conquer the world types either.  All week we just kind of eased into the day, not having to rush around because someone just HAD to be at the beach by 9 a.m. because the day was awastin'.  In fact if I ever write a travel guide I'm going to spend an entire chapter on choosing appropriate travel companions, and the first point I'll make in that chapter is that morning people should not travel with those who are not because the nots invariably end up hating the morning people within 24 hours of the trip's start, or whenever the first morning happens to fall.

And it's not just travel.  Working with a morning person is a royal pain in the butt for me.  I need my half hour to catch up on reading, cull my email, drink my coffee, etc.  Having a co-worker who insists on a 7:30 meeting or who starts the day with a perfectly neat desk and a bullet point to-do list perfectly centered in the middle is, to me, comparable to working with Attila the Hun.

My neighbor keeps trying to get me to go to the Y on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:45 a.m. to play basketball.  That's when the "mature" people such as myself play, and as much as I'm sure I'd enjoy it and as much as I miss my regular game of hoops, the idea of playing an hour and a half of hoops before sunrise is just too repulsive.  Why can't they find a gym that stays open until midnight and play from 9-11 p.m.?  I'd be their most dedicated player!

I don't have anything against morning people, especially when I don't see them until lunch time.  It irks me when they say things like "I don't understand how anyone sleeps past 6:00.  I find those hours before 9 to be the most productive of the day" and look at me like I'm somehow deficient or immoral.  My retort is usually, "I don't understand how anyone falls asleep before midnight.  I find those hours after 9 to be the most peaceful and enjoyable.  Maybe it's because all those priggish morning people are asleep."  Mind you, I don't break out that last sentence unless they've really lorded their morning superiority over me.  Live and let live I say, but if you're gonna bring your air of morning superiority into my life then I'm gonna treat you like the puckered-butt you probably are.

For the most part I don't get that condescension from morning people so we usually all get along.  And honestly I find that they are valuable members of our community, even if I don't understand them.  Sure there's the occasional problem, like mowing the lawn at 8 a.m., but for the most part I think they're good people.  I do resent that they get preferential treatment from certain organizations, for instance the YMCA opening at 5-whatever yet closing at the entirely too early hour of 10 p.m. during the week and 7 p.m. on the weekends.  What's up with that?  Of course we night owls get it back at the movie theaters and certain fine watering holes, but like most people I prefer to resent what the other folks have and focus only on what I'm denied.

Now where's that coffee?

Back to Reality

Bhifloatring So we got to spend last week on one of the best beach vacations I've ever had.  We spent the week at Bald Head Island (BHI) with my Mom and Bert, my brother Russ and his wife Kelly and their kids Caroline and Jack.  Before I move on I should state that I've never been on a bad beach vacation although two of them were not exactly relaxing: one time when I was a kid my Dad took us on a camping beach vacation near Assateague Island and we were eaten alive by horse flies, and this last spring we spent the kids' spring break at Myrtle and had about 30 minutes of clear skies (I'm not exaggerating).  Still in both cases we managed to enjoy ourselves more than you could in most other times of your life, so saying that this last week was one of the best is high praise.

Besides the company what made the week so nice was the location.  There isn't a bridge to BHI so the only way to get there is by a ferry.  It also has no cars so everyone gets around on golf carts.  There also aren't any condos or high rises and there are very long beaches with a tremendous number of public access points so the beach is blissfully uncrowded and quiet.  If you go to a beach and it's too crowded for your taste you can simply load back into your cart and head down the road to a better locale.

Ourbeachsetuplastday3 Best of all to me is that there aren't any distractions like amusement parks, go kart races, cheesy beach stores, etc. to cause us to run around like a bunch of crazed tourists.  I used to like that stuff, but I've become a doddering old man and I really like just hanging out at the beach and spending time talking, playing games, body surfing, etc.  Then in the evening it's just hanging out, eating too much, watching a movie or playing a game, or whatever you feel like doing.  Absolutely perfect for this old man.

Now I'm sure the kids would have loved to have other things to do, but they were troopers and they made do with movies, games, etc.  I was amazed that our daughter didn't go into severe TXT-withdrawal when she discovered that her phone didn't get reception in the house we were staying in.  In a way I think she kind of welcomed the break from the 6,000 TXT messages she sends each month.  I'm sure her thumbs appreciated the rest.

Of course vacations always come to an end and this one did with a bang.  The drive home was uneventful, but when we got home we inflicted a puppy upon ourselves.  You read right, we weren't home three hours before we headed out to adopt a stray puppy we found via Esbee.  When I read her Piedmont Puppitas post I thought of my darling wife who's been pining for a baby in some form for about 11 years and decided now was the time to do it seeing as we are also getting a kitten thanks to our kids bringing one home from their mission camp trip despite our telling them not to.  In for a dime, in for a dollar I say.

When I showed Celeste Esbee's post and she saw the picture of the puppitas she practically leaped out of her skin to answer in the affirmative that we should adopt.  I contacted Esbee who passed my name along to the kind fellow who took in the wayward litter of puppitas and he called me on my cell.  Since reception was so spotty in the house on BHI I ended up talking to him while standing on the upper floor and touching a metal window frame to increase my antenna-like capabilities.  We arranged to meet upon our return on Sunday evening  and then Celeste and I made the wise decision to say nothing to the kids lest they try and convince us to leave four days early from our vacation.

Justinmia2 So last night we drove to get the puppy, telling the kids only that we had a surprise for them.  As we approached the house Celeste and I could see the puppies cavorting in the yard, and our daughter Erin was in mid-sentence (a perpetual state for her) when she finally spied them and shrieked "PUPPIES!"  Game over.  We spent about 1/2 hour playing with the litter before the consensus decision was made to adopt the runt, a shy little girl that we've named Mia.

I thought maybe that would be all the excitement we'd get upon our return, and certainly it seemed like enough, but then this morning we heard a huge bang from our garage and went to see what had fallen.  Fortunately nothing fell, but the spring on one of our garage doors did break so now one of our cars is being held hostage in our garage.  I'm hoping my neighbor and I can free it this afternoon, but it looks like we'll be getting a new garage door sooner than I expected.  We're going to replace the door instead of just the spring because the door is in pretty bad shape and we told ourselves we'd do it whenever something on the door gave out, like a rusty spring. 

And of course Erin's team, of which I'm the assistant coach, has three practices this week and a kick-off tournament this weekend, and Michael's into two-a-days for football, and back-to-school activities begin this week.  Put it all together and you have the perfect brew for bringing me back to earth but-quick from a serene week at the beach.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Abundance

In my previous post I mentioned that the kids were away at mission camp last week.  What I didn't mention is that my Aunt Debbie spent five years of her life building the mission camp before turning it over to others and moving to Blue Heron Farm with her husband Steve.  Debbie took up blogging a while back and in her latest post she shared with us how she and the others on the farm are working to identify their community's core values.  My favorite part of the post was how she defined "abundance":

Unpacking abundance: I’ll just start by saying that abundance was my bottom-line value contribution. so I really wanted to see it on our list of three values. Within our small group, and later in large group discussion we referred to abundance as a lofty ideal and a fluffy word. I agree! It’s a leap of faith to believe there is enough. I’ve spent the last five years leading mission camps where we faced head-on the overwhelming needs of Appalachian mountain communities. We did this with limited funds, tools, and mostly unskilled, teenage laborers. Miracles were a daily occurrence. I still believe, more than ever, that there is enough. And I also believe we need a lot more practice around sharing and simplicity so the haves and the have-nots are standing closer together. My life revolves around this very practice.

This really struck a chord with me.  I don't know if it's a form of middle aged crisis or what, but I've been feeling a growing urge to do something...more.  Don't get me wrong, I feel very fulfilled as a husband and father and I enjoy being in the part of my career where I don't feel like a paper-pusher any more, but, and it's a big but,  I wonder if perhaps I could be doing more. 

When I left for college I thought I'd be a teacher, but then I decided against it.  Then I thought, "Well, I'll make my fortune and then teach as a second career.  That way I won't be beholden to anyone and can teach on my own terms."  Can we say naive?  Now I find myself saying, "When the kids are grown I'll have more time to devote to helping others."  Ah, but life has a funny way of replacing one obligation excuse with another and I'm sure when the kids are gone it'll be something like "Well, when the house is totally fixed up I'll..."

As I'm having this conversation with myself I remember something my stepfather, John Garrity, said to me when I was a soon-to-be Daddy who wasn't so sure he was ready.  John said, "If everyone waited until they thought they were ready to have children then there wouldn't be many kids around."  I think the same is true of doing more.  If everyone waited until their own lives were perfect then there wouldn't be things like Mission Camp.

I'm not sure where I'm going to go with this.  I just know that I'm increasingly feeling the need to make a significant change.  I've talked to Celeste about this and I'm afraid I've scared her to death.  She probably thinks I'm going to quit my job and join the Peace Corps, but that's not the kind of thing I'm talking about.  Rather I'm looking at this the way some nutritionists look at losing weight: it's not about going on a radical diet, but about making a lifestyle change.  What can I do on a daily basis to do more?  As Debbie put it, how can I stand closer?

I'm asking these questions because, as I said, I feel very fulfilled.  I feel like I have received many gifts of abundance including good health, a loving family, security (both emotional and financial) and community.  We're by no means wealthy, but too often abundance is equated with wealth and that's just not so.  I won't retire any time in my middle age, but at the same time I don't have to worry about where the next meal is coming from, or whether or not I'll have a roof over my head tomorrow.  Compared to many that's a great deal of abundance and for that reason I think it's important to stand shoulder to shoulder with those who need more.

How to do this?  Right now I don't have the answer, but I'm working on it.

Summer's Final Stretch

This week begins what I like to think of as Summer's Final Stretch, the reason being that the kids' swim season officially ended this past Saturday so they now have no official reason to rise at any particular time.  Until then they were required to be at swim practice every morning at 9:45 so they had to rise by 9:00 at the latest.  Now, they're sleeping 'til noon, but unfortunately for them this state of affairs will only last two weeks.

Quick aside: I miss the days I could sleep that late.  Bladders over 40 years old don't allow it.

The kids were with our church's youth group at mission camp at Laurel Ridge all last week so they missed the week of practices leading up to the league championships which were held Friday night and Saturday morning.  Instead they spent their week painting buildings, manning weed whackers, laying flagstones and doing various and sundry other good deeds.  They returned on Friday afternoon at 1:00 and I treated them to lunch at Cicciones since we didn't have a whole lot of food in the fridge (more on why later).

After lunch the kids rested up and then we headed over to Clemmons West pool at 4:00 for championship warm ups.  Michael and most of his buddies were alternates in the 15-18 group; we have some real hardcore swimmers at that level so it's no slight on Michael or his buddies and they'll get their chances next year.  Erin swam three events and Justin swam five.  Both of them won some ribbons so it was a pretty good night.  After the meet a bunch of us from the team made our way over to Mi Pueblo for a late dinner and we stumbled home about 12:00.

Another quick aside: I should never eat refried beans after 8:00 p.m. Ever.

The younger kids' (under 10) championship heats are held on Saturday morning and luckily for us none of our kids are in that age group any more so we got to sleep in a little.  That left the end of year party and awards ceremony at the pool on Saturday night.  We got there at 6:00 and I found out that a couple of friends were going to go to the races at Bowman Gray at 7:30 and I got the okay from Celeste to join them.  Sweet reprieve!  Alas, it wasn't to be.  The awards ran longer than expected and I would have had to leave before our kids' age groups awards, including championship ribbons, were given out.  I didn't want to miss it since this is the first year we've been able to make the awards banquet and I wanted to see them get theirs. 

So I backed out and didn't get my chance to experience ladies night at Bowman Gray, which I've been informed provides the largest assemblage of tattooed boobs in America, with the possible exception of a Jimmy Swaggart revival. Tragic, I know. Instead, Celeste and I hung out at the pool to help with chaperoning the teenagers who'd been allowed to swim until midnight.  Apparently in years past they've had an all-night lock-in which to me is unthinkable punishment for any adult who has to be involved.  Saner heads prevailed this year.

This summer also featured Michael's first year of football workouts.  Every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday he had morning workouts from 9-12 and they were a beast.  Between swimming and football he's gotten in the best shape of his life.  This week the coaches are taking vacation and then next week they start regular practices.  Michael will be missing that week (with the coach's permission) since we're taking our family vacation, so he'll have a two week break when all is said and done.  I don't think he yet realizes that he's going to be doing some Dad-led workouts so that he doesn't lose too much ground before he starts practices upon his return.

And of course practices for Erin's soccer team will begin in earnest when we return (actually they start the week we're gone) and since I'm also a coach on the team we'll be pretty much hip deep in soccer related stuff from then until December.  The first tournament is the weekend after we get back so it gets crazy fast.

Thus we've reached the swan song for Summer '08.  Each year the summer seems to pass faster, and each year I feel even more nostalgic for the seemingly never ending summers of my early childhood.  Then I remember that the kids will be back in school soon and the constant requests for chauffeuring services will finally come to an end.  Sweet!

Oh, and as for why we had no food to feed the kids upon their return from camp, let's just say that Celeste and I didn't waste our first week ever of having all three kids at camp at the same time.  We dined out every chance we could and we even took the opportunity to hit a wine tasting at Wine Merchants Gourmet on Wednesday night.  This was our first glimpse of the future when the kids will be flying the nest, and while I'm sure we'll have a terrible time dealing with empty nest syndrome with that time comes I think we'll also find many ways to enjoy our time as a couple with kids who call us when they're short on cash.

Justin's Worst Tooth Fairy Experience

Justinteethextract3 The youngest had some baby teeth that just didn't want to come out and the adult teeth were coming in under them.  We found this out when we took him in to get his braces and they said they couldn't do it until his baby teeth were out, so we scheduled an appointment at Kingery & Kingery to have those stubborn baby teeth forcibly evicted from his mouth.  You can see the result to the left (hope you didn't just eat).

The weird part was seeing the adult teeth in the holes left after the baby teeth were removed, and also seeing how long the roots on the baby teeth were.  I shudder to think what would have happened if we hadn't had the teeth removed.

Sadly for Justin he's old enough that the idea that he would be remunerated by some tooth fairy for his ordeal never entered his head, nor the heads of the tooth fairies themselves.  The way this tooth fairy looks at it those funds have been banked for the orthodontist, who I believe has been able to finance a boat from the braces my three kids have endured (are enduring).

Thus, Gray Hair

As I wrote last week we started our camp season off this year by dropping our oldest off at App State for their forensic science camp.  We picked him up on Saturday and learned that he was one of 6 boys out of 23 total attendees.  In other words there was almost a 3-1 girl to boy ratio.  We also learned that he is inordinately honest and blunt when he's sleep-deprived because before he passed out on the drive home he told us that he'd stayed up to all hours the last two nights of the camp, and that he and some of his new friends had "played a game called 10 fingers and another nasty game you don't want me to tell you about."  Celeste is now convinced that he is eternally changed by the camp experience and that he lost his innocence while cavorting in the mountains.  She also implored me to talk to him and inform him that he is in no way to share his newfound games with his siblings or neighborhood friends.  Personally I think there's lots of trouble in the neighborhood that we just haven't heard about, and that if we deprived our kids of sleep for two days we'd find out all about it.   I'm not suggesting we do that because if we do Celeste will never let the kids leave the house again, and if there's anything I fear more than teenage mischief it's being stuck in the house with them on a full time basis.

Making matters more stressful this weekend was our daughter's revisiting that teenage daughter zone known as "TheWorldRevolvesAroundMe-Ville" and the equally distressing tin ear she has to her parents' displeasure.  The boys seem able to recognize the signs that they're ticking their parents off and will back off of making "Can I ..." requests.  Not our daughter.  Just moments after being rather harshly rebuked for making a presumptive request via cell phone at 12:30 p.m. for a ride home from a sleepover at precisely 1 p.m. on Sunday, and being told that said ride wasn't going to happen because she was within easy walking distance of home and her family was at that moment waiting to be served their post-church lunch at IHOP, she promptly called back to see if we'd bring her bathing suit to her at the pool after we got home from lunch, that way she wouldn't have to walk home and walk to the pool.  Unfortunately she hadn't seemed to pick up on the harsh part of the rebuke, a talent unique to her in our gaggle of kids, so the doubly harsh rebuke she got induced a bout of pouting felt by her father sitting in the greasy spoon five miles away.  I don't react well to pouting so I was ready to ground her for months, but I'd already hung up so I let it go.

To provide some context we had a little mother-daughter encounter on Saturday when the younger of the two asked the older if she had any more razor refills because she needed to shave her legs before the big weekend.  Mother informed daughter that all the refills were gone because someone had used most of the six pack.  Daughter replied that she'd only used one, to which mother replied, "Well I've only used one so I wonder who used the rest?"  Daughter, instead of backing off, gives that ever so annoying teenage shrug and says, "I dunno."  This happens on a recurring basis in our house as the daughter seems to think that her Mom's store of female related stuff is her own personal RiteAid.  If she wants to set a bomb off in Mom's head that's how she does it, but tragically she doesn't intend to do it, she just does it and then stares gape-mouthed at us as we chew her out.  The girl was on thin ice from that point on.

Thankfully our daughter stayed at another friend's house last night and that friend's Mom dropped them both off at camp this morning.  That created a natural cease fire in the house and the resident Mom has already graduated from offpissedness to worried-and-missing-her mode.  Dad's just as befuddled as he always is.

I truly don't know how we're going to survive the next 10 years.

It's Camp Time

Well, summer camp season officially dawned for us this morning.  Celeste and I got up at 5:00 to roust our oldest child Michael from bed so we could drive him to Appalachian State University for a four day camp that focuses on forensic science.  Essentially it's a "CSI" camp, and after seeing the agenda I'm highly jealous that I don't get to spend four days at App State studying fingerprints, DNA extraction, arson, etc.

Actually, there's another very good reason I'm jealous of Michael.  You see when I went to camp it was pretty much all guys.  I went to Wes Unseld's basketball camp for a week when I was 12 and it was all guys.  I went to Camp Minnehaha in the mountains of West Virginia for a month one summer in my early teen years and it was all guys.  So we're pulling away from the dorm that Michael's staying in and what do we see but a boatload of cheerleaders crossing the street on their way to the big athletic field house that happens to be next door to Michael's dorm.  Michael's camp coincides with a cheerleader camp!  The boy is 15?!  I'm thinking that DNA extraction might be the last thing he's thinking about studying.

On the flip side, he's staying in a dorm room that if I'm any judge is about 25 years old.  No AC, although up in the mountains I don't think it will be that big a deal, but it still has that old dorm smell.  Think high school football player's locker at the end of the season and add a touch of river mud and you'll be close.

Next week our middle child, Erin, leaves for a week long camp that is exactly five minutes from our house.  Not sure if that actually counts as "going to camp" but she'll be out from under our roof so I guess it should.  Then in the third week of July all three kids will be heading to Laurel Ridge with our church youth group for mission camp.  Who do you think is having a party that week?

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